Elia
Terrified, she saw the doctor's hands, clasped in a fist above his head, hurtle toward her chest.
It hit her hard like an iron bullet and she heard her bones crack.
She was wondering briefly if it was a rib piercing her lung and taking her breath away, but then the world blurred before her eyes and something pulled her, almost mercilessly, into her inner worlds.
Now it was the doctor who was staring at her, his eyes filled with fear.
He was yelling at her and than sotto voce stammering some incomprehensible words,
and incoherent questions.
He absolutely did not know what was going on.
Her heart was beating in rhythm again, but he had to watch the life drain out of her body with every breath she didn't take, which her body denied her for some unknown reason.
She pointed a finger at her neck.
What was it that she wanted?
What was he supposed to do?
Would he have to watch helplessly this 27 years old woman perish in the prime of her life in front of his eyes?
Dying a cruel death that he caused with his own hands on top of everything else?
He was desperate and in his mind he was already thinking of stories he could tell himself,
to reassure that it was not his fault.
He ran his fingers through his hair.
" What the hell...? "
Still her weakening hand pointed towards her neck. Her shapely lips turned blue and all color drained from the beautiful face framed by wavy blonde hair. A tragic beauty as she lay there in agony, undecided whether to fight or simply let go until the lack of oxygen would finally cradle her gently in the hands of death....
And suddenly, he term.
It was as if he had caught a glimpse of her thoughts in another dimension.
How could it be? He hardly dared to repeat aloud what he had read in her eyes.
"Intubate? " he asked softly?
She blinked her eyes once as a sign that he had understood before she slipped into the dark sleep of unconsciousness.
"Intubate," she heard him shout.
"Intubate immediately" and then night fell.
Elia awoke into a deep darkness. Where was she?
Why was it so dark? Where was her body?
And what was this strange fog everywhere?
She could not see clearly, nor think clearly.
Fog, everywhere, she thought desperately.
Something inside her was awake...while something else was asleep and could not wake up.
It seemed to her that an eternity had passed in this fog. And the same question kept creeping through her consciousness like a recurring koan.
How do I get out of here? How can I wake up?
Nothing moved. An eternity passed. And then, suddenly, there was a light. And with that light, the answer appeared.
"You just have to imagine it.
And there it was, this feeling.
A memory! Yes, of course ! I just have to imagine it. How could I forget it?
Yes !
And no sooner did she imagine waking up than she opened her eyes and looked into her life.
She saw doctors and nurses bustling around her body, mumbling words. Something like, " No, she's waking up! " and " Quick, the injection!"
Before Elia could understand what was going on, the doctor approached her with a large syringe. Elia screamed as loud as she could, but she couldn't hear herself, just a low whimper, before she was plunged back into the darkness and the familiar fog.
Oh no, there she was again.
Remembering nothing. She was drifting like a cloud in the universe, a veil in the darkness,
not knowing who or what she was. Just perceptive consciousness that somehow perceived that something about this fog was off and worrisome.
An eternity passed in timelessness and nothing happened.
And then it reappeared. That question.
How do I get out of here?
How do I wake up?
And after another eternity in eternity, a bright light again illuminated the fog and darkness.
" You just have to imagine it, Elia! "
And again the joy had come to her as she remembered being a powerful creator.
This time it felt as if many other souls had gone along in this fog and as if they were also overjoyed not to have to remain in the eternal fog anymore.
They also found their way out and followed Elia.
Again she woke up and again she awoke into a similar scenario as before.
Elia had to " fall asleep " and wake up again a few more times before the doctors found her body strong enough to let her wake up from the coma.
Elia lay in the bathtub brooding. She had left the hospital that morning.
After almost 3 years in hospital, alternating between intensive care units and intermediate intensive care units, she had now been diagnosed with liver and kidney failure in addition to constant heart failure.
Her body could no longer tolerate the vast amounts of pharmaceuticals and especially the intravenously administered antibiotics were step by step destroying even the healthy organs in her body.
She was already almost blind, could no longer stand up on her own and was told that her heart had basically been treated.
She did not know what that meant, but when she asked why they did not stop the antibiotic that was destroying her liver and kidneys, the relatively young ward physician replied that it was not possible.
She could live well without parts of her liver and kidneys, but not without her heart, he mentioned like it was nothing.
Elia felt dizzy.
They were considering iver and kidney transplants?
After already 4 open heart surgeries?
The ones where they cut open the chest, take out the heart, and then „repair“ it on the table to put it back into your chest ?
They can't be serious, Elia thought.
She suddenly realized that something was wrong here.
All her life she had felt like an alien in this world. Wrong somehow, different from all others and somehow as if she was crazy...
But now the picture inside her started to turn.
What if everyone else was crazy?
What if she wasn't safe here at all, and the hospital wasn‘t about healing people?
She called the ward physician to her bedside again.
She demanded that the antibiotics would be stopped, clearly and inescapably.
The doctor was somewhat taken aback by her sudden vehemence. Yes, she was a difficult patient, questioned many things and had already refused a few therapies andalso some surgerys. But this time it was different.
"It's not possible for insurance reasons. You could sue the clinic if we stop the medication. " he replied curtly. "That is, " he added, muttering to himself, " your family could do so, after your demise. "
Everything began to spin in Elia's head. She felt like she was losing her mind for a moment, but then suddenly everything was clear.
So these doctors are consciously accepting her death because it would be covered by insurance, instead of taking the life-saving measure of stopping the antibiotics because it was not covered by insurance.
Wow ! She had to digest that one.
Elia swallowed.
She realized that there was no one who would come and save her.
Not the doctors, not her family, not her partner at the time, no friends - no one.
She was relying on herself, and if she didn't take responsibility now and take her life into her own hands, that’s it.
Over and done with, at just 30.
She felt she was all alone.
Somehow always had been. All these institutions, invented by man, like hospitals, employment offices, youth welfare offices, schools, kindergardens...all just institutions that created the illusion that we were taken care of and that there was someone on the
OUTSIDE, who does everything better and knows better than we do.
Even when it is time to die.
Elia felt like a puppet. Her life movie of the last years passed by her inner eye.
Her illness had already begun with medical failure. A mundane misdiagnosis had led to this deadly disease that had now already become part of her life. It was only three years ago. Back then, her body had still belonged to her and she could decide for herself where she went and what she did with her body.
No, she had not always been kind to it. She had emaciated and neglected it and twice she had even tried to follow her father, who had chosen suicide a long time ago.
Always she had tried somehow to bring herself to some place safe, far away from this crazy world. Already with 17 she moved out of her parents' house and already with 18 she had emigrated the 1st time.
She had always looked for people who were like her. Who wanted to live something different. More liveable and definetely more heartguided.
But her search was in vain.
And now she had landed in the middle of a world full of paternalism, manipulation and know-it-all attitude.
The doctors pretended to know what they were doing, but in 3 years she had had a lot of time to observe, and saw a lot of things that she probably should‘nt have seen.
She could have written a whole book and told many relatives what their loved ones had actually died of.
But she had also kept silent.
For fear of confrontation. She had already had enough of that with the doctors. She simply could not bear any more of it.
She picked up the phone and called her former partner, asked him to pack her things, let him put her in a wheelchair and asked the doctors for the discharge papers.
She was refused the discharge papers.
She had to sign that she was leaving voluntarily and on her own responsibility, they said.
"But I am not going voluntarily," Elia replied firmly. You are forcing me to go. If you are not able to make a decision FOR my life, then I guess I have to do it. "
She had to sign, the doctor insisted.
In the meantime, the senior physician who had accompanied Elia for the last months joined them.
She also confirmed that she would not sign any discharge papers for Elia.
"Well, than i leave without them," Elia said to the doctors and let her boyfriend push her out of the hospital.
The head doctor stoppes some tears and called after her that she would not survive 3 days out there.
„How pathetic.“
Elia thought to herself that at least now she had a chance to survive. Even if it was very small, it was a chance she would not get in the hospital.
There her death was cast.
The bathtub felt wonderful. Elia thought about the fact that she was now at home, but not even able to wash herself.
And that she felt somehow quite deathly ill.
There spoke deep from her inside a voice to her.
It said that she now had three days to begin her spiritual path.
Starting tomorrow. She would feel good in these three days, could get up and start everything. If she did not accomplish it on the 3rd day, this incarnation would be over for her. That would be perfectly all right and not bad at all, only , she had come to this world with a task, and if she could not fulfill it, then she could now " come home ".
Elia was a little shocked, but somehow also flooded with a deep sense of basic trust.
This vision was like a confirmation of her inner feeling that she had it in her own hands.
She let it all sink in.
The next morning she woke up and she seemed to be fine.
She could get up, she could walk around and when she looked in the mirror she even had some color in her face.
It was true.
Wonderful.
For the next 3 days, she dealt with all sorts of things.
She went out, partied, went dancing and even smoked a cigarette. All this had not been possible for years.
As the 3rd day drew to a close, however, a queasy feeling crept over her.
If the one part of the prophecy has become true, then the end would probably also become true.
Live or " going home ". She had the choice.
No, she did not want to die yet.
After she had fought so hard to survive, that was out of question.
She had survived about 50 cardiac arrests.
She had learned a lot in the near-death experiences that went along with it and also in the coma. She had to be able to do something with this knowledge.
How did one begin one's
" Spiritual Path "?
Elia had always been clairvoyant and through all the near-death experiences her psychic abilities had been extremely strengthened.
But what did all this have to do with the spiritual path and with her task?
Daniel
Daniel was a student.
One of those who studied to study.
If you know what I mean. He had chosen a place for his studies,
and if you looked for him, you were more likely to find him on the slopes with his snowboard than in a lecture hall.
He was a popular young man and with his ocean blue eyes and friendly charisma the world was at his feet.
But HE was not at the world‘s feet.
Sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously, he passively indulged in the fight against a system in which there seemed to be no place for people like him.
Already at school he was inwardly absent and the social activities of his friends were often a mystery to him. He knew early on how to disguise himself and adapt to the environment, like a chameleon, and was thus able to swim at least a little in the shark tank of vanity.
At least as long as his studies lasted. So he made sure that it lasted long and soon made the acquaintance with a gamechanger for his life and his consciousness.
Daniel discovered new worlds. First inside of himself and then in the outside world. He read the right books, met the right people and had spiritual experiences that first made his world view crumble and then completely destroyed it.
He explored secret societies and went "down the rabbit hole" for each new topic that opened up to him, until he could go no further.
He discovered his creativity and hidden talents that had been sleeping deep and unrecognized within him.
He realized that he could simply "download" skills and became a self-taught musician. He learned to play instruments almost by himself on a level that was previously inaccessible to him and soon began composing his own songs.
Music became the center of his life.
Daniel unfolded his beautiful voice that touched people and within months he outgrew himself and everything he could learn.
Now his hunger and thirst for knowledge was awakened.
He graduated and returned to his home, his home that somehow didn't seem to be home anymore.
His friends were beating each other over the head with their successes.
Suddenly so many areas of life were more about appearances than being. Priorities had changed and breathlessly he tried to keep up, while at the same time and quite peacefully planting his first permaculture garden, on the vacant neighbor's lot and filling the basement, with canned Food and nonperishables.
Just in case.
You never know.
His parents and friends where laughing at him. But then, they didn't know what he knew. And no one seemed to care.
When he finally realized that a success- and career-based life would not bring him fulfillment, he followed the call to also explore the spiritual mysteries of his intellectual journey and now really wanted to get to know the world behind the world.
He searched the Internet for someone who could provide him not only with knowledge, but the pure, lively experience of being and the unseen spiritual worlds.
After a brief search on the Internet, he came across a spiritual school in France.
The spiritual teacher and founder of this school, he read, had had many near-death experiences and drew her knowledge not from the teachings of others, but from her own experiences with life, death and the healing of her body and psyche.
She described on her homepage that it is possible for every human being to activate their inner knowledge and healing and self-healing powers and to free himself from unfavorable programming and structures.
That sounded interesting.
He wanted to put her to the test and know if she could really let him experience the mysteries of the universe in just six months of training or if this was just another accumulation of knowledge and practices that only mask the true knowledge of our being.
Basically, he wanted to put God to the test.
Something, deep inside of him, just wanted to know.
Not just believe.
Elia and Daniel
It was the last day of training.
In about 2 1/2 years Daniel had attended and also accompanied as a trainer all the apprenticeships, Retreats and Seminarys and that Elia had to offer.
Today he would receive his last diploma.
And today he was to become a teacher himself.
Had he learned and experienced everything he wanted to learn?
He had to smile inwardly, his expectations had been exceeded by so much that he could not even put it into words.
Yes, he was an other.
Or maybe just the one he had always been.
Under all the programs and indoctrinated concepts.
He had gone on many journeys through inner worlds, healed himself and others.
He had discovered the love that binds us all together and the divine ecstasy and joy that comes with it.
He had found himself and, almost a bit like Neo, recognized the Matrix.
Now he just had to find a way to break out of it.
He knew he had received everything in his life so far to be ready for it.
And the diploma at the end of the day would seal it.
It wasn't about the diploma itself, but it initiated the end of a journey he had confidently embarked on to learn everything he needed to be able to lead the life he wanted.
As Elia had said the day before.
"I can show you nothing more and teach you nothing more. At the end of this path, you have everything that I have. It's up to you what you make of it."
Well, that was far from the case, at least as far as Daniel was concerned.
There was still much to learn and experience.
But this time he should not learn from her, but with her.
Already the whole afternoon he had a strange feeling. Elia loved him, and he loved her. They were very close.
As a trainer, he had accompanied many of her seminars and had also participated in seminars abroad.
They had gotten to know each other in depth.
He saw her in all her facets.
Until that day, this love was simply love.
Nothing romantic. No intentions, no desires...But today it felt different. It was as if he had grown.
He perceived himself differently.
He perceived her differently, somehow at eye level.
And that was damn close.
His heart beat faster.
He searched desperately within himself for the chameleon.
He had once been so good at camouflaging himself from the world. Where was his inner chameleon now that he needed it? In view of the fact to be sitting in a circle together with all the other now clearvoyant Students, his girlfriend and Elia's partner at the same time he visibly became more uneasy.
But the stronger he resisted, the more intense the feeling became.
Fortunately, the course was soon over. The awarding of the diploma made everyone happy and also a little melancholic , since one had almost assumed that it could now go on forever like this.
The trainings were precious treasures, each one on its own.
And even though everyone could hardly wait to start out on their own, there was somehow a sad feeling of parting. They had experienced so much together.
They got to know each other in the deepest depths and entered spaces together that they didn't even know existed.
This connects and creates relationships that goes far beyond friendship.
Everyone hugged each other and in the end he hugged Elia.
They had hugged each other probably 1000 times and it was always different.
But this time it was more than different. A feeling rose up.
An irrepressible force that for the time being overrode all "normal" functions of the brain. The feeling first built up in their bodies and made its way into their eyes. It spread like a love atom bomb and Elia and Daniel stood in front of each other and could do nothing but let it happen.
An exchange of information began on all invisible levels.
It was as if information was being downloaded from another world and even among the two of them the exchange was so intense that they could not move.
The field around them was really spreading intense energy, from the center where it had struck into their heart, into their being, it was expanding endlessly and forming new universes.
Something changed and this something could not be controlled by anything.
At some point, the transmission of information was completed and Elia and Daniel stood opposite each other as pure love.
Not love for each other, not love for the world...it was not a love that loves, it was a love that IS.
The other participants of the training lingered around them. They had already seen a lot in the last years of training and also experienced really crazy things, which were more than supernatural, so they didn't think too much about this spectacle.
But everyone was touched by this love.
And no one ever Did let go of this love.
Because it was natural and unconditional.
Without wanting to make anything out of this love, Elia and Daniel went their ways, with many question marks in their minds, but absolute clarity in their consciousness.
No, they did not want to do anything with this love.
But this love did something with them.
It created a new universe for them both, leaving no stone unturned.
It was as if they had become spectators in their own lives.
This love, the divine took them and shaped them and honed them to its will.
It was omnipresent and at the same time merciless towards all and everything that stood in the way of this love, this connection.
It was also merciless towards their egos.
Everything that was not in harmony with the divine plan had to give way. And without knowing this plan, they always followed the next step that was revealed.
And all these steps led Elia and Daniel finally to paradise.
The divine ecstasy danced in their consciousness and in their bodies.
They had no choice but to expand again and again in order to be able to cope with what they encountered on the outside.
The outside was their teacher and also the engine for quantum leaps in their development..
They were led back to their deepest truth again and again, that they themselves ARE life.
In every moment.
The human being creates it’s own playground by frequency prevailing and moves by it likewise the playing pieces.
So it seems also logical that in the artificial world, which is just not paradise, a lot is done against it, that people vibrate in a positive frequency.
So they can neither perceive paradise, nor create it.
Daniel and Elia got together to awaken a sacred space which existed apparently only in
religious myths and fairy tales for so long.
A Sacred space for a new world to arise in harmony with the divine potentials and gifts that they brought with them into this world to project this inner world also onto the outside.
Thus PARADISA is not only a wonderful project but also a place that has arisen from the sacred connection of these two.
Two people who have dedicated themselves with their whole being to each other and to the creation of a world supported by love for themselves and their children and all people who want to be part of this world.
Now the foundation stone is laid.
If something deep inside if you has been touched or if you feel a calling, if you maybe feel the heartbeat of the earth or the pulse of time, while Reading this, then it could be Paradisa, a place that springs from love itself, calling for you and your potentials.